Mona Lisa

It started yesterday with a boom and a bang, although upon reflection, it was steadily building up. There was an air of not okayness and a need for constant opposition in response to that feeling. The Heavy energy expanded into rebelliousness. All the healing prior to this moment somehow evaporated and only the little girl was standing in the midst of this seemingly overwhelming vastness feeling unsupported and played with. There was no more space for her to be in that room. She felt tossed around by another at their whim. She felt the separation deep in her bones. She ran toward the room where she could dream about being the One- not for someone else- but for herself. Here, she recognized her worth and desired to protect it dearly, and allowed God to love her. The recognition of her Divinity gave her only permission to be in spaces that truly honor and respect her. It wasn’t about who is right or wrong. It was about her resilience and devotion to herself. It was about her seeing her light and following it unequivocally.

Today she sat on a chair she almost never sits on and opened a book, gifted to her mother, she has never opened before, to see the photograph of Mona Lisa. It was taken at the Louvre and had all the reflections of the glass frame and the paintings that mirrored into that glass. It felt serendipitous! After all, when she was younger many people found resemblance between her and Mona, especially in the eyes. In the deeper part of her being, she knew she had to investigate and find the meaning of this particular gift at this particular time. It was percolating in the vicinity, but she couldn’t quite grasp it, so she read which she sensed will crystalize the gnosis, and it did. When you look at Mona Lisa, you see through your current lens. There are many shades and perspectives. Her eyes are a living well and emit her Infinity and Divinity. It was a confirmation for me to see my Goodness and shield it from anything (other paintings: triggers/mirrors/outside noise) that “threatens” to disturb my Union with God. It was about staying firm with my boundaries. Not loving less, but loving more. Mona’s image in the photograph was blurry. My dance between my worthiness/unworthiness created the in-between space where I sometimes see myself and sometimes deviate and see blurry, yet, I am on purpose by design, and God was inviting me to recognize my permanent address- Value/Merit/Worth. When I occupy this space, I choose Her over and over again regardless of the circumstances and all the justifications my ego can provide for overriding this knowing. The tests are plenty. The results are all over the place, but the awareness is there, and moving through these situations with self-compassion and understanding is necessary. A seed doesn’t sprout overnight, let alone produce fruit instantaneously, yet it endures lovingly.